The Darker Side Of Love
by PhonyPrincess
Summary: Love Isn't All Smiles & Rainbows. There's A Darker Side. One-Shot Soap/Roach. Warning, Contains Smut, Some Minor Yaoi.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** So, I Felt Like Writng Something Dark, But Fluffy. Also, I Hear People Saying 'Faggot' Alot Lately & It Honestly Enrages Me! I Loathe It! I Don't Care About Anyone's Sexuality, Its Up To Them & I Love Everyone Equally! :) So Also MissPumpkinHead Said She Wanted To See More Soap/Roach One's So Here You Go Lovely! :P

**WARNING:** Contains Male/Male Pairing, Smut.

**Pov:** John 'Soap' MacTavish.

**Pairing:** Soap/Roach

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"Fuck Off". Were not what i saw as my last words to you. I hoped the last words i ever said to you would be, "I love you". But when my boyfriend in the world to you has been ignoring you for a few weeks, something along those lines are bound to slip out of my mouth. Ha. Boyfriend, theres a word i thought i'd never say.

Driving home wasn't usually this peaceful, especially when he was here. But, i liked it that way. All i could think of was the time you first kissed me.  
Watching old films, an hour into the first one, you leant in & kissed me. Nothing passionate or lust filled, just a simple peck on the lips. I asked you why you did it, you smiled, wrapped your arms around my waist and said, "Because its you."

I never heard anything so beautiful & from that moment, we were a couple. I never pictured myself as a romantic type, But i found myself taking long walks in the moonlight, buying ridiculous little gifts & kissing you every chance i got. I never thought i'd become such a hopeless romantic, but when i was around you i could'nt help it. All the silly love songs made me think of you, though i'd never say, i'd never hear the end of it.

"What would you say if the guys knew about us?" You smiled.

"I wouldn't care, they can deal with it." I tightened my grip around you & kissed your'e forehead. I knew you were worried about them, they weren't exactly the most understanding people. Not homophobic, just the idea of two men was slightly unnatural to them. I don't exactly remember how the others caught on But then again we weren't exactly quite. You were a moaner. No matter what was happening, whether it was a hand job, bow job or just a heated make out session. You were always vocal. No wonder i was so keen to make love, I wanted to hear you scream when i was inside you.

I've waited forever for someone like you. I remember Valentine's day, we were alone. You approached me kissing me right there in the middle of my office.  
Anyone could've walked in, im just glad they didn't. You pushed me down onto my bed, teeth nipping at my neck. You started to kiss my lips & i swear we were at it for ages. I just loved kissing you. It felt like one of the most intimate & intense things i'd ever experienced. You kissed your way up to my ear & whispered,

"Fuck me"

My eyes opened, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I need to be closer"

Our first time wasn't perfect, I never expected it to be a breeze, Neither i nor you had been with another man before. We were awkward & clumsy, im sure i hurt you more than i thought, though you insisted the pain i caused was outweighed by the pleasure. As i collapsed on you, you made the moment even more special by saying those 3 words. "I love you". I was suprised when i heard myself say them back. As time went on my need to hold, touch, kiss you grew. I found myself stealing passionate kisses after you finished paperwork. But not everything was this sweet, eventually people began to find out. You couldn't stand how they hated you,  
how they talked about us behind our backs, about how they made jokes at your expense. Our happiness never lasted that long. It started innocently.

I found you one night in the bathroom, i tired the door, but it was locked. I could hear sniffles coming from inside.

"Gary, you ok?"

"Im fine, just go away"

I heard the taps turn on, the sniffles became sobs.

"Gary, you're scaring me, come on unlock the door"

"Just leave John, its my problem"

"If its your problem, then it's our problem"

"Fuck off"

"Im not going anywhere."

I swear i could almost hear you roll your eyes at me. The door was unlocked, i squeezed through the tiny gap you left open. You were scrubbing at red raw hands.

"They hate me." you whispered, sounding so lost.

I wrapped my arms around you, you rested your ead on my shoulder & cried, you slowly let things out. How the guys had been teasing you, insulting you, it made you feel...'inhuman', like you were some sort of freak & you didn't belong in the world. I pulled you closer, kissing your tear soaked cheek. I told you not to worry.  
I wanted to hurt them like they hurt you.

Over a few weeks, the pain you felt grew & grew. We argued more than usual, at one point i thought you'd leave me. Towards the end you wouldn't even touch me.  
It broke my heart that you'd pull away from my kisses, my hugs. I was sick of it, i stormed into your room slamming & locking the door behind me. I wanted answers.

"Why do you care about what they think?" Was the first sentence that escaped my lips.

"Gary?"

"I don't know." You burst into tears, i wanted to hold you, but the angered side of me told me to walk away. So i did. I was so fucking stupid.

I couldn't sleep at all that night, thinking i should've ignored my stubborn side & held you.

The next few days crushed me, you barely acknowledged me. You wouldn't speak or even look in my direction. You were gearing up for your mission. You were going to the Caucasus Mountains to kill Makarov. I was going elsewhere. Afghanistan. I stood at the doorframe staring at you, though you never noticed i was there until i left.  
You ran behind me & grabbed my wrist.

"Where you going?" You asked me quietly. The first words you said in days i nearly collapsed in your arms.

"Afghan" I think i spoke a little too much like his boss than his lover.

"Be careful"

I needed my head checking because i was about to be cruel.

"Fuck off"

I turned and left. I wish i'd know that was the last time i ever saw you. I would've kissed you. I would've responded to your "I love you."

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**John 'Soap' MacTavish & Gary 'Roach' Sanderson Belong To Infinity Ward/Activision.**

**REVIEW MR TANGO! :p**


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